Want your patience tested? Try online ordering the Swedish way

Last week, our 20-year-old daughter, Emma, decided she needed a new chest of drawers for her room at her sorority house.

I don’t know why she decided she needed a new chest of drawers for her room at her sorority house, but, as usual, my knowledge or lack thereof was not an issue.

“I’ll order it online,” Emma said. “And then on the way to school, we can stop in Kansas City and pick it up.”

I really didn’t want to stop in Kansas City and pick up a chest of drawers, but just as my knowledge or lack of knowledge about things was not an issue, neither is whether or not I want to do something.

I’m not sure if “chest of drawers” is the correct term for what Emma ordered online. Essentially, what Emma ordered was a chest that comes with five drawers, so I’m sticking with chest of drawers.

Emma ordered the chest of drawers from that big furniture company that also sells Swedish meatballs.

I’m uneasy with a furniture company that dabbles in Swedish meatballs. I mean, come on, make a choice: furniture or meatballs. You can’t do both.

After Emma placed her online order, she realized that there was no option listed that would allow her to have the chest of drawers assembled before we picked it up, so she called the store’s customer service number.

“It says it’s closed,” Emma said.

I’m no furniture company expert, but it seems to me that finding out that a customer service number is closed is not a good sign.

The next day, we got to the furniture/Swedish meatball store in Kansas City shortly before 11 a.m.

Emma found a nice lady who worked at the store and told her that her chest of drawers was supposed to be ready at 10:30 a.m.

“Did you get you’re email that said it was ready?” the lady asked.

When Emma said she had not yet gotten the email, the lady said she needed to wait until she got the email before we could pick up the chest of drawers.

“Do you have one in stock?” my wife asked.

“Yes,” the lady said.

“But we still have to wait for an email?” I asked.

“Yes,” the lady said.

Boy, those meatballs better be good.

When my wife asked the lady if we could just get the chest of drawers in stock instead of waiting for the email, she said we could.

“But you will have to cancel the online order first and it will take seven to 10 days to get your refund,” the lady said.

“Fine,” my wife and Emma said.

“(Bad word),” I said.

Emma asked the nice lady if the chest of drawers in stock was already assembled. The lady said it was not and told us that if we wanted it assembled, we needed to talk to the assembly and delivery guy.

So we found the assembly and delivery guy. I asked him how long it would take to put the chest of drawers together.

“At least 24 hours,” the guy said.

Turns out the people at the furniture/Swedish meatball company don’t actually put their furniture together. They send it to another company that then delivers the furniture to you in the box and puts it together in your home.

Sort of makes you wonder who makes their Swedish meatballs.

The assembly and delivery guy said it was kind of hard to tell when, exactly, the chest of drawers would be delivered and assembled.

Emma looked at me and then she looked at the assembly and delivery guy.

“Can I just cancel this order too?” she asked.

“Yes,” the guy said. “But it will take seven to 10 days to get your account refunded.”

Sigh. I bet the meatballs suck.