We have a new dishwasher, and I’m uneasy about that fact.
On the one hand, it’s nice to know that we have a new dishwasher. But, on the other rinse cycle, it’s just a dishwasher.
As you probably know, dishwashers aren’t cheap. Plus, we had to pay to have the new dishwasher installed. Sure, I could have tried to install the dishwasher myself, but I also could have tried to build our house myself. But I didn’t for the simple reason that I — as I think I have pointed out in this space in the past — am a moron.
I have trouble installing bread into our toaster. Why in the world, then, would I try to install a dishwasher?
We spent what I considered a significant amount of money to get our new dishwasher. Normally, when we spend what I consider a significant amount of money on something, I like to enjoy whatever it is we bought. But it’s hard to enjoy a dishwasher.
It’s sort of like getting a new roof. Sure, you’re glad to have a new roof, but your life really isn’t changed by the new roof. I suppose if you had spent any time at all living without a roof you would enjoy having a new one; but if you’re used to a roof over your head, a new one isn’t so life-altering.
The reason we needed to get a new dishwasher is because it’s Friday. As you know, almost all appliance issues occur either right before a weekend or during one. Or on a holiday.
We seldom have appliance issues on, say, a Tuesday. An appliance issue on Tuesday is normally easy to handle. You call a guy who comes to your house and fixes your appliance or tells you that you need to buy a new one.
But if you have an appliance issue on a Friday, you have to scramble because you don’t want to go through the weekend without said appliance. Making things even more difficult is that you are competing with all the other people who are having appliance issues on Friday and also don’t want to go through the weekend without said appliance.
Friday morning, when our old dishwasher developed the same issue we had dealt with several times before, my wife said that she didn’t want to go through the weekend without a dishwasher.
“I’m tired of this (Bad word) dishwasher. We’re getting a new one,” is what my wife said.
In her defense, we were starting to get to the point with our old dishwasher that, in the long run, it was probably cheaper to buy a new one.
The key word being “probably.”
I told my wife that there was no way she was going to be able to buy a dishwasher AND get a plumber to install it on the same day. And on a Friday no less.
The reason I said that is because I knew there was no way that I would be able to buy a dishwasher AND get a plumber to install it on the same day. And on a Friday no less.
See, when I call a plumber and say that I need a dishwasher installed, he normally says, “It will have to be next week,” and I say “OK, that’s fine.”
But when my wife calls a plumber — or anyone else for that matter — and says she needs a dishwasher installed, they almost always say: “We’re on the way.”
I don’t know how she does that but I think it’s because of this menacing vibe my wife can emit.
“LOOK! I NEED IT DONE TODAY. DON’T TELL ME IT WILL BE NEXT WEEK. I WANT IT DONE NOW,” is the vibe my wife emits.
It’s a vibe with which I am quite familiar.
So we have a new dishwasher. On a Friday.
I just hope our toaster holds out.