It’s possible that I will get to watch an entire Kansas City Chiefs football game on Sunday.
I mean, it’s Friday as I’m writing this, so something could come up between now and Sunday to prevent me from watching an entire game. But I’m keeping my fingers crossed which, of course, makes it sort of hard to type, but I’ll do my beeeeeeeest.
Whoops. Sorry. I mean “my best.”
For some reason, we have managed to fill many of our weekends this fall with activities. And when I say “for some reason” I mean “my wife.”
My wife will look at her calendar two months in advance and see that we have an open weekend, and she’ll say, “Well, we can’t have that,” and the next thing I know that open weekend became a closed weekend.
Now, because most of the Kansas City Chiefs football games are played on Sunday, that means we are often traveling when the game is being played.
Last Sunday, we were returning home from 20-year-old daughter Emma’s college town while the Chiefs were playing football, so I was forced to listen to the game on the radio while I drove.
Listening to a Chiefs game on the radio is sort of a challenge. See, the Chiefs radio announcer tends to get a bit “worked up” when he is calling the football game.
Wait, that’s not true. Trump got a little worked up during his news conference Wednesday morning.
The Chiefs radio announcer gets way worked up.
Don’t get me wrong. I like the Chiefs radio announcer. It’s just that sometimes he gets so excited it’s sort of hard to figure out what he’s talking about. The only time I know for sure what the Chiefs radio announcer is talking about is if the Chiefs happened to score a touchdown. The reason I can figure out that the Chiefs have scored a touchdown is the radio announcer will be talking in his normal voice at roughly 1,294,456 words a minute when he will suddenly scream “TOUCHDOWN KANSAAAAAAASSSSSS CITTTTTTTTTY.”
When he does that, my wife will look at me.
“What’s he trying to say?” she will ask.
“It’s possible the Chiefs may have scored a touchdown,” I will say.
The problem with not getting to see a lot of Chiefs games on TV is that this year the team is really good. I mean, really, really good.
This Chiefs team scores a lot of points. In fact, they scored 39 points since I started typing this column, and they’re not even playing an official game.
In some years past, I wouldn’t have minded missing some Chiefs games, but this year I do mind. Very much.
So, I was very happy when I discovered that while we have something we have to do on Saturday, we have nothing to do on Sunday. Well, I think my wife has some sort of social event she has to attend on Sunday, but fortunate,ly the social event does not require my presence.
“I have a social event on Sunday,” my wife said. “But you aren’t part of it. Will you be OK at home by yourself?”
“HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA,” I said to my wife. Then I paused and said, “I mean, I will miss you and all, but I guess I could just watch a little bit of football.”
“You are a (bad word),” my wife said.
By the way, we have to be out of town next Sunday, but somehow, we have next Saturday open. So Thursday night, when my wife discovered that, she said (and I swear this is true), “Hey, we don’t have anything to do next Saturday evening, so I think we should go to this event where you do yoga and drink wine?”
Oh well. Maybe the Chiefs radio announcer will be there. I can hear him now.
“NAMASTE KANSAAAAAAASSSSSS CITTTTTTTTTY.”