Morons: The new normal

I suppose this one quote from our 22-year-old daughter Emma sums up where we are right now.

It was either Friday or Saturday evening (And really, does it matter at this point?). Emma got up from the couch in our family room where she had been watching repeats of the Disney show “That’s so Raven,” and said, “Well, I’m going to go upstairs, change out of my sweats and put on my pajamas.”

It wasn’t a day chock full of activity is what I’m saying.

By the way, the fact Emma was watching repeats of “That’s so Raven,” makes me smile. Not only was Emma watching “That’s so Raven” she was also laughing very hard.

That also makes me smile.

Emma is able to watch a lot of the Disney shows she watched when she was a kid through some sort of Disney streaming service we subscribe to. We gave Emma the subscription as a Christmas gift. We figured she would be able to use it at her apartment in Lawrence, Kansas.

Little did we know.

Emma spent all day yesterday, in her room, working on a college-related project, and now she is working on, either another college-related project or an intern-related project. She’s doing her work on the couch in our family room while watching “That’s so Raven”.

And I’m OK with that.

As usual, my wife is taking part in some sort of work-related conference. The only difference is my wife is sitting in our backyard while taking part in her work-related conference.

And I’m OK with that.

Also, as usual, I’m sitting on our three-season porch listening to Jimmy Buffett’s radio station.

And I’m definitely OK with that.

This morning, when the three of us were walking our dog Caicos, my wife said she and Emma were going to make apple butter this weekend.

I told my wife if she and Emma were going to make apple butter this weekend then I was going to a barn-raising.

My wife didn’t think that was as funny as I did.

That happens a lot.

But if my wife and Emma want to make apple butter this weekend, I guess I’m OK with that too.

But continuing with my new hobby of coming up with and shooting down hobby ideas I’m afraid making apple butter will not be a new hobby.

But the fact my wife and Emma are planning ahead is a good thing. Planning ahead is something I’ve pretty much forgotten how to do. I wasn’t much of a planner before all of this but now I’m really not much of a planner.

For example, here’s my plan for the rest of my day:

No. 1: Finish this column.

No. B: Proofread this column. (And yes, despite ample evidence to the contrary, I do try to proofread my columns.)

No. III: Walk Caicos.

No. D: Open a bottle of wine.

I know what some of you are thinking. Some of you are thinking, “Whoa, slow down Mike. You’re going to wear yourself out.”

To some of you thinking that I say, “You’re telling me.”

On a totally unrelated topic, would it be too much to ask big-time TV news people to retire the phrase “the new normal”?

I don’t think so.

I think “the new normal,” needs to disappear along with “at the end of the day” and “double down.”

But maybe I’m just getting cranky.

Although, to be honest, (And, again don’t you think we should be?) I don’t really think I am getting cranky. I mean, what’s there to be cranky about? Sure, except for walks through our neighborhood, we’re sort of stuck in our house but, as I think I’ve pointed out in these columns, being stuck in our house is not exactly a prison sentence.

Compared to a lot of other people, especially to all of our heroic, essential workers, we’re in a relative paradise. That’s why, whenever I read about folks whining about having to stay inside and practice safe, social distancing, I’m tempted to say “Looks like the new normal is a bunch of morons who, at the end of the day, are doubling down on being morons.

But I don’t. Because I’m not cranky.

Now, if you will excuse me, it’s time for me to get out of these sweats and put on a pair of shorts and a Jimmy Buffett shirt.