All I can say is, thank God my wife has a real job that requires her to ignore me for a while.

By the way, I’ve never understood why people begin a sentence by saying, “All I can say,” when clearly, they have more to say. Of course, a reasonable person out there might ask “Well, Mike, if you’ve never understood why people begin a sentence by saying ‘All I can say,’ then why did you do it?”

To that reasonable person out there I guess the only explanation I have is, sometimes I type something and then immediately think, “Why in the world did I type that?” and then proceed to take the running dialogue in my head public.

It’s much like the way Shakespeare wrote.

So, anyway, where was I? Oh, right, being glad my wife has real job so she has to ignore me for a while.

See, my wife has decided we should put some of our staying at home time to good use. When my wife decided that I figured she meant we should start drinking wine earlier in the day.

Sadly, however, that’s not what my wife meant. What my wife meant was we should use our stay at home time to reorganize our house.

I didn’t like the sound of that.

But I have to give my wife credit. In no particular order, she has reorganized our bedroom, her bedroom closet, her clothes, her papers, and our guest bedroom/office that really hasn’t been a guest bedroom/office in years.

I know!

I don’t want you to think I haven’t helped in the reorganizing of our house. Just yesterday, I got rid of a bunch of stuff in my closet that had been preventing me from-technically speaking-“See the damn floor”. But that’s not all. I also managed to reorganize and straighten the part of our guest bedroom/office that really hasn’t been a guest bedroom/office for years that was supposed to be my office.

I’m not sure that sentence make any sense. But I know what I meant.

So, now, I’m proud to say our guest bedroom/office that really hasn’t been a guest bedroom/office for years is now called our guest bedroom/office that really hasn’t been a guest bedroom for years.

I think that’s progress.

 

On Sunday, my wife announced it was time to reorganize our breezeway cabinets.

You know how, in scary movies, someone will say something dramatic and the music will suddenly get serious and everyone in the room will react in shock?

That’s what happened when my wife announced it was time to reorganize our breezeway cabinets. Only there was no dramatic music and I was the only one who reacted in shock.

But, other than that, it was exactly the same.

We have been talking about reorganizing our breezeway cabinets since shortly after we moved into our house.

In 2001.

We talked about reorganizing our breezeway cabinets much like Egyptian pharaohs talked about “maybe someday building some pyramids.”

The problem is, over the years, a lot of stuff has accumulated in our breezeway cabinets. I guess because the breezeway is technically outside our main house when something is put in the cabinets it ceases to exist.

In theory, reorganizing our breezeway cabinets should be easy. See, I figure if we haven’t used something in more than a year, we clearly don’t need it and it should be thrown away.

My wife, however, thinks if we haven’t used something in more than a year, then clearly, it is a valuable family heirloom that must be kept and cherished. And by “kept and cherished” my wife means “kept in the breezeway cabinets for a couple more decades.”

But, again, I have to give my wife credit. She has been willing to let some stuff go. So much so, that, on Monday, while I reorganized my office, my wife cleared everything out of our breezeway cabinets and was able to paint them.

So, now, we are moving things we seldom use from our kitchen cabinets into the freshly painted breezeway cabinets where they will stay and be rarely used.

Or we were doing that until my wife had to stop for a work-related Zoom meeting.

But I know eventually my wife’s Zoom meeting will end and our reorganizing will resume.

Sigh.

I wish I had a real job.