I think it’s begun.
The reason I think it’s begun is because I don’t always know what goes on around our house.
If I always knew what goes on around our house I wouldn’t have to say “I think it’s begun” I could just say “It’s begun.”
But I don’t, so I can’t.
The reason I think it’s begun is because the other morning my wife was complaining about having to do something she wasn’t planning on having to do.
I don’t how things are around your house but around our house, if someone (and by someone, I mean my wife) finds out she has to do something she wasn’t planning on having to do she gets upset.
This is how I knew my wife was upset and also why I think it’s begun.
When my wife was complaining about having to do something she wasn’t planning on having to do she said, “AND ON TOP OF EVERYTHING ELSE!!!”
Note: To express my wife’s unhappiness I used both all capital letters and three exclamation points.
When my wife breaks out the, “ON TOP OF EVERYTHING ELSE!!!” what she is trying to say is she has a lot of (bad word) going on. And because we are well into the month of December, I can only surmise that the “lot of (bad word) going on” that my wife has going on is holiday-related.
Second Note: I know, instead of saying “holiday” I could have said “Christmas” but when you say “holiday” instead of “Christmas” it drives the “War on Christmas” people crazy. So I say “holiday.” Well, unless I’m watching that movie starring Bing Crosby and Danny Kaye. In that case, I say “Christmas” because saying “White Holiday” sounds kind of racist.
Gee, somehow, I’ve kind of gotten off track. I guess I should get back on track. But not before I mention that while not having an editor-as I did when I worked for a newspaper-might hurt in the catching of typos it does allow me more moments to get off track. It was my experience that, for the most part, editors hated it when I would get off track.
My wife tends to take the holiday season a bit more seriously than I do. I think that’s the way it is in most households. One spouse (In my case) my wife tends to take on holiday chores more so than the other spouse (in my case) me.
In fairness, I should point out that when it comes to the holidays, my wife is-to use a technical expression-out of her (really bad word) mind.
My wife starts working on holiday chores shortly after midnight New Year’s morning.
Guy who took over for Dick Clark: 3….2….1…Happy New Ye…
Wife: Where’s the tape? I need to start wrapping presents.
Then, throughout the year, my wife will continue to attend to the occasional holiday chore until the day after Thanksgiving when she starts ramping up her holiday chores.
The holiday chores continue ramping up until my wife gets so holiday chore ramped up that she breaks out the, “ON TOP OF EVERYTHING ELSE!!!”
I should mention that my wife doesn’t break out the, “ON TOP OF EVERYTHING ELSE!!!” for her sake. My wife is well aware she has a lot of holiday-related (bad word) going on.
No, my wife breaks out the, “ON TOP OF EVERYTHING ELSE!!!” for my sake. My wife wants to be sure I’m aware she has a lot of holiday (bad word) going on which I think is sort of odd since my wife is constantly telling me how much holiday-related (bad word) she has going on.
But I guess because, by nature, I’m sort of a laid-back individual, my wife doesn’t think I actually get how much holiday-related (bad word) she has going on.
What I want to tell my wife is it’s not that I’m not aware she has a lot of holiday-related (bad word) going on it’s that I don’t care.
And I don’t mean that in a bad way.
See, I know that no matter what I say to my wife she is not going to stop ramping up her holiday chores. I also know that there is very little I can do to help with her holiday chores.
Well, I’m assuming there isn’t much I can do to help with her holiday chores. I mean what with me not ever offering to help and all.
I don’t have much to offer in the way of holiday chores. Sure, I can help move stuff, I can make the occasional holiday-related snack and find the occasional cat who has somehow gotten stuck inside the Christmas tree.
But beyond that? Helpless.
So what I do is listen for my wife to break out the, “ON TOP OF EVERYTHING ELSE!!!” and say to myself “I think it’s begun.”
And start looking for the tape.