I spent most of Monday waiting for our cable and Wi-Fi to come back on.
It wasn’t the best day of my life but it beat last week when I spent most of my Tuesday afternoon waiting for my wife to get sick.
See, on Monday I knew eventually our cable and Wi-Fi would come back on and my life would take a turn for the better.
However, last Tuesday I knew my wife would eventually get sick and my life would take a turn for the worse.
I need to clarify (Lest some of you think I’m a heartless jerk) that my wife wasn’t in danger of getting seriously sick last Tuesday. What she was in danger of was having an adverse reaction to her Covid booster shot which we both got earlier Tuesday.
Since my wife had adverse reactions to both of her Covid vaccines in March, the nice lady who gave us our booster shots last Tuesday told my wife she would likely have a reaction to her third shot.
I didn’t have a reaction to my first Covid shots and wasn’t anticipating having one to my booster and, as it turned out, I was correct in my assumption.
I should also point out that my wife’s reaction probably isn’t so much Covid vaccine related as it is medical history related.
My wife tends to have adverse reactions to almost every shot she gets. I think my wife once had an adverse reaction to a tequila shot.
So, last Tuesday I waited about three or four hours and, sure enough, my wife got sort of sick.
My wife tends to get sort of sick a lot and I tend to seldom get sick. When I was younger my older sister Mary told me it’s possible, I didn’t get sick very often because I had encephalitis when we lived in Okinawa which she theorized gave me some sort of immunity.
But I don’t know.
It seems to me whatever protection I got from encephalitis would have worn off in the fifty plus years since I contracted it.
But I’m no doctor.
Anyway, because I don’t often get sick it’s hard for me to relate to someone who does get sick.
It’s sort of a Yin and Yang thing.
Well, I think it is but I’ve never really been sure exactly what a Yin and Yang thing was. For years I thought Ying and Yang were the names of those pandas at the Washington Zoo.
But, again, I don’t know.
Here’s how my wife and I worked out my role in dealing with her adverse reaction to the booster shot.
She laid in bed upstairs, slept or watched TV and felt bad while I sat downstairs, drank beer, watched baseball and felt great.
If my wife needed something she called my cellphone and told me what she needed.
I then rolled my eyes, got up, got what she needed and took it upstairs to her.
Me: Here is (whatever the heck it was she needed).
Wife: I heard you roll your eyes.
I need to make a serious point here. Please don’t let the fact that my wife had an adverse reaction from the Covid vaccine make you hesitant to get the shot. My wife has said many, many times she would rather have a reaction from the vaccine than actually get Covid.
Anyway, by Wednesday of last week, my wife recovered from her reaction and things were fine in our world until Monday morning when we woke to find the storm that rolled through the area late Sunday night and early Monday and knocked off our power and our cable and Wi-Fi.
While our power came back on pretty quickly our cable and Wi-Fi did not.
Lately our cable and Wi-Fi seem to go out more than they used to which is sort of tough because the company that provides our cable and Wi-Fi, sometime ago, closed its local office so now the only way we have to get into touch with the company is to call some toll-free number.
When I do that and finally get an automated person to talk to me the automated person suggests I first visit their website which never fails to elicit this response from me.
“I CAN’T VISIT YOUR (BAD WORD) WEBSITE BECAUSE OUR (VERY BAD WORD) WI-FI IS OUT NOW LET ME TALK TO A REAL (VERY, VERY BAD WORD) PERSON OR YOU CAN TAKE OUR WI-FI AND SHOVE IT UP (COMMON BUT CRUDE TERM FOR A PERSON’S ANATOMY THAT I’M NOT SURE AN AUTOMATE PERSON ACTUALLY HAS).
And then the automated person always says the following:
“I’m sorry, I didn’t get that. Would you like me to repeat our menu items?”
And once again I’m reminded why it’s a good thing my wife and I aren’t gun people.
It used to be when our Wi-Fi went out, we could still use our cellphones to access the Internet but lately that has not been the case.
I don’t know why we can’t use our cellphones to access the Internet when our Wi-Fi goes out, I just know we can’t.
All of this is even worse if our 23-year-old daughter Emma happens to be here when our Wi-Fi and cable go out.
Ever spend an afternoon with your wife when she can’t watch “Blue Bloods” repeats on TV and your 23-year-old daughter when she can’t access the Internet?
You’d be better off having an adverse reaction to a Covid vaccine shot.