When our 27-year-old daughter Emma and her fiancé officially decided to get married I looked at my wife and said, “OK, that’s it. It’s done, we can relax now.”

When I said that, my wife gave me the same look she gives me when I say, “What? We have to watch more than one episode of this?”

By the way, I can’t be the only person who is content to watch just one episode of something.

My wife will con me into sitting down to watch, “Just one episode, I mean it. All I want you to do is try it and if you like it, we can watch another one next week. I promise.”

Then, five hours later, my wife will say, “See, that wasn’t so bad. Do you want to watch season 12 now?”

Here’s what I thought would happen after Emma and her fiancé decided to get married.

Now follow me here because this is sort of complicated. I thought  what would happen after Emma and her fiancé decided to get married was…THEY WOULD GET MARRIED AND LEAVE ME ALONE.

I realized now what I thought back then was moronic. The reason I realize that now is, after I said it, my wife and Emma said, “You’re a moron.”

And people say I can’t read the room.

The first thing that had to be done after Emma and her fiancé decided to get married was a location for the wedding had to be chosen.

“Can they get married in St. Louis so, after the ceremony I can go to a baseball game?” I asked my wife.

Again, I know now my question was moronic.

See, what Emma, her fiancé and my wife were thinking of was a destination wedding.

As I understand it, a destination wedding is when a couple goes to a destination and gets married.

The challenge to a destination wedding is again, as I understand it, picking the destination.

Emma and her fiancé are somewhat reserved people. They don’t like being the center of attention and neither like having a big fuss made about them.

And for once, I’m not joking. They really don’t like being the center of attention or having a big fuss made about them.

I love that about both of them.

Thus, the destination wedding. Keep the guest list small and then later have a reception at home for those who didn’t attend the destination wedding.

Of course, the reception at home was mainly my wife’s idea. See, my wife has always loved making Emma the center of attention and making a big fuss about her.

The first destination Emma and her fiancé considered for their wedding was Italy. Emma spent a semester of college studying in Florence, Italy and pretty much loved everything about it.

The idea was to have a small wedding party and immediate family members at the wedding.

Imagine my disappointment when I found out I was considered an “immediate family member.”

But, after much discussion, Emma, her fiancé and my wife decided a destination wedding in Italy wasn’t very practical for a whole host of reasons to lengthy to list here.

The next destination Emma, her fiancé and my wife considered was a nice place in Sonoma County in California. Since I like wine, I was OK with Sonoma County. I mean, as long as I’m considered an “immediate family member” I may as well get to have wine.

Unfortunately, after visiting the nice place in Sonoma County, Emma and her fiancé decided it might be a bit on the expensive side.

How expensive?

When Emma told me what it would cost to have her wedding there, I fainted.

My wife and I decided early on when it came to the cost of Emma’s wedding we should be prepared to go, “just a bit out of our comfort zone.”

Well, my wife decided we should be prepared to go, “just a bit out of our comfort zone.”

I know my comfort zone, when it comes to the cost of Emma’s wedding, really doesn’t matter.

So, whenever the cost of Emma’s wedding is discussed, I put my hands over my ears and say, “BLAH BLAH BLAH. I CAN’T HEAR YOU!!!”

So, Sonoma County was axed as a destination. And now it was late March and a destination had not been selected.

Emma and my wife were beginning to panic while I was gearing up for the start of the baseball season.

Clearly, we had different things on our minds.

Then, one day, my wife and Emma were talking on the phone about the wedding when, out of the blue, Emma said, “What about Key West?”

My wife calmy replied, “Why yes Emma that’s a possibility. We can look into it and see if that would work.”

Then my wife hung up the phone, dropped it on the counter, threw her hands in the air, did a little dance and said, “YES, YES, YES. IT’S KEY WEST. THIS IS THE GREATEST NEWS EVER. KEY WEST! MIKE CAN YOU BELIVE IT? KEY WEST. I CAN’T BELIVE IT!!!!”

My wife was happy the destination might be Key West, Florida is what I’m saying.

When I pointed out to my wife if she really wanted Emma and her fiancé to pick Key West as their destination she should definitely not push the idea. I pointed out to my wife the best thing to do would be to stay calm, and noncommittal about Key West and let Emma and her fiancé make their own decision.

To which my wife said, “You’re right.”

And then thought to herself, “KEY WEST!!! I CAN’T BELIVE THEY PICKED KEY WEST. I’M CALIING VIDAL.!!!”

If you would like to know if Key West is indeed the destination for Emma and her fiancé’s wedding and, more importantly, who the hell Vidal is, I’m sorry but you may have to wait until season 12.