Happy life of a non-people person

What a great time to not be a people person.

At least that’s what I’m thinking. See, if you’re not a people person this social distancing thing is a snap.

I’m not a people person. Never have been really. So for me social distancing is like- well you know-Tuesday. The reason I’m not much of a people person is I seldom have anything of interest to say. Here is a typical conversation a person might have with me.

A person: Nice day isn’t it?

Me: Yes. Yes it is a nice day.

A person: (Long awkward pause). Okay, good talk. Take care.

Me: You too.

And that’s a conversation with a person who is my wife. A conversation with someone else is even worse.

By the way, my wife is very much a people person so this social distancing thing is bit harder for her. But she does have some ways to break her social distancing hell. For instance, right now, as I’m typing this on our three-season porch while listening to Jimmy Buffett’s radio station, my wife is in our family room taking part in a work-related conference call.

My wife says she is using something called “Zoom” for the conference call. As I understand it, (And, as always, there is a very good chance I don’t) “Zoom” allows my wife to talk to a bunch of people remotely all at once.

I have no idea why someone would want to do that but, again, as I think I have established, I’m not a people person.

Our 22-year-old daughter Emma tells me she uses “Zoom” for a few of her college classes. On Thursday, Emma says she’ll use “Zoom” to chat with the person in charge of her internship.


Even if I wanted to use “Zoom” I wouldn’t have a reason to. Well, I guess I could use “Zoom” to talk to myself but, unfortunately, myself isn’t much of a people person either.

It’s actually kind of nice for my wife and me to social distance with Emma. Of course, I’m sure it’s not as nice for Emma to social distance with us what with my wife and I being her parents and all.

When you’re 22, social distancing with your parents is pretty much the last thing you want to do. I know it would have been the last thing I would have wanted to do when I was 22.

But Emma is taking the whole thing pretty well. Sure, she doesn’t know if or when she’ll get to take part in her college graduation. And, although she is able to do some of her internship work remotely, she is still missing out on other internship opportunities.

But Emma also is looking at the big picture and, for her, and for her parents, the big picture is she’s safe right now.

Besides, the three of us have settled into a fairly nice routine. In the morning, Emma stumbles downstairs, fixes a cup of coffee, stumbles back upstairs to her room, closes the door and starts doing either school, or internship-related stuff.

Then my wife stumbles downstairs, fixes herself a cup of coffee and starts doing work-related stuff. Then I stumble downstairs, fix myself a cup of coffee, and do the one thing I’m qualified to do: Hook a leash on our dog Caicos and take her for a walk.

When I come back, Emma who has taken a break from her school or internship-related work and my wife, who has taken a break from her work-related stuff are watching what used to be a podcast but is now on TV. I’m not sure what you call a podcast that is now on TV but, then again, I don’t know much about podcasts.

The podcast that is now on TV my wife and Emma watch is called “The Morning Toast”. From what I can gather, “The Morning Toast” is a show about two young women who talk to each other.

I don’t know what the two women talk about and I don’t really care. “Why don’t you care?” some of you may be asking.

To some of you who are asking I refer you to what I said earlier in this column.

You know, the part about me not being a people person.

After they watch “The Morning Toast” Emma goes back to her school or internship-related work, my wife goes back to her work-related stuff and I go back to Tuesday.

So far, I’ve given you a fairly accurate description of, at least, part of our day. Tomorrow I will describe the rest of our action-packed day.

Until then, be safe, and keep on social distancing. People person or not.