I don’t think I’m getting one of those surveys.
You know the surveys I mean — the surveys that companies send seconds after you’ve used one of their services.
I once checked into a hotel, and seconds later as I was stepping onto the elevator I received a text asking me about my “check-in experience.”
Granted, it was a nice hotel. But still.
I get surveys after taking my car in for service, after staying at hotels, after going to baseball games, after going to concerts and after completing surveys.
“Dear Mike, we value your opinion. On a scale of 1-10, with 10 being ‘Greater than outstanding’ and 1 being ‘Really close to outstanding,’ please rate your survey experience.”
About three weeks ago, I took my main computer into a large computer, video, music and phone-related store in Joplin. I won’t name the store because I realize what happened is not the fault of the people who work there.
The reason I took my computer there is because it — and this may get complicated — stopped working.
When I tried to explain to one of the guys behind the counter what was wrong with my computer, he told me I had to make an appointment with a computer “expert.”
It turns out it’s easier to see a doctor than it is to see a computer “expert” at the large computer, video, music and phone-related store.
When it was time for my appointment, I explained to the “expert” that my computer stopped working. He looked at my computer. Then he tried to turn it on and, when nothing happened, said, “So, we’re going to have to send it off to be fixed.”
About a week later I received an email from a computer hospital in Chicago telling me that my computer had been fixed and was being shipped back to the Joplin store.
A few days later, I went to the store to see if my computer had arrived. Since there was no one else waiting in front of me, the computer “expert” granted me an audience. He typed my name into a computer. Then he called another “expert” from the back room. The two of them looked at the computer for several minutes. Then they looked at me.
“So, we can’t work on it,” they said.
“But I got an email that said it was fixed,” I said.
Turns out what the people at the computer hospital did when they realized they couldn’t work on my computer was “close out” the repair.
“They send that email out whenever they close a repair,” the “experts” said.
That’s right. They send out an email saying a computer they can’t work on is fixed even though it’s not.
To quote the late great George Miller, “And you wonder why a grown man gets angry.”
I asked the computer “experts” why they couldn’t work on my computer.
“It’s a Microsoft. We can’t work on a lot of Microsoft stuff,” they said.
When I asked the two “experts” why they sent my computer to Chicago knowing that they probably weren’t going to be able to work on it, they both sort of looked away.
On Monday afternoon, I went to pick up my computer that hadn’t been fixed. Guess what I had to do? That’s right. I had to wait until a computer “expert” had time to see me.
Yeah, I’m probably not getting one of those surveys.